On Spiritual Motherhood (and Fatherhood)

The most amazing part of working in ministry is seeing lives touched by the grace of God, and knowing that it really has nothing to do with my efforts. I can work all day and night setting up the logistics of a retreat or other program meant to provide an encounter with the Lord, but when it comes down to it, all the planning in the world cannot change hearts the way the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit can! I am given the great gift of humility, and allowed to watch in awe as people's lives are transformed before my eyes, and I find myself drawn to pray ever more fervently for the people who come to the programs I help run at the church. I feel my heart expand with love for them, and am able to gain personal insight into what true Spiritual Motherhood is. It is truly caring for the spiritual well-being of others - often even strangers - solely for their own sake and, like a true mother, doing all the little things behind the scenes - the often overlooked and thankless tasks, out of care and concern for the needs of her children.

For a natural mother, this entails things like laundry, dishes, house-cleaning; perhaps cooking a favorite meal when a child is upset, or making that extra trip to the store for a special treat for a sick child, even though she has worked all day, and perhaps even already been to the store that day! For a spiritual mother, it is similarly a sacrifice of time and energy taking care of the little details that will help her children grow in holiness. In the context of ministry, it is doing all the little, tedious tasks behind the scenes, the things that are taken for granted. For example, when we go on retreat, and receive all the materials, perhaps a nice folder or handouts, how little we think of the tedious amount of work that went into typing, printing, perhaps cutting, etc. all those materials! I myself am guilty of this. Like natural children, we simply accept what we are given as if it came from nowhere just to meet our needs!

 I realized this especially when I moved - permanently - away from home (about 2600 miles away, actually), and realized all the little things my parents did for me that I took for granted. I noticed the things my mother did first, but now that I have had my car in my possession for over a year, I notice all the little things my father used to do to take care of it for me. For example, a friend of mine recently visited and told me that my brake light was out. I realized I would have to fix it, and thought I would just run to the store and buy a new bulb, before I realized I don't actually know how to get to the bulb to replace it! (Thank God for youtube how-to videos right?)

Even in ministry, I underestimate the amount of time it will take me to do things myself, because when others have provided the same things for me when I have been on the receiving end of a ministry, I have been largely unaware of how much work goes into things! Like a natural mother, most of the little things I do for my ministries go unnoticed.

I consider it a great gift that God allows me to see some of the fruits of my ministry, which I believe He allows in order to help me grow in love and awareness of this spiritual motherhood. Because really, most of the time, I am completely unaware of how or if people are being truly affected at all. It is only the rare occasion that someone says something to me about how much a particular program or retreat meant to them, or I am able to sit back and witness it first hand. Yet this seems to be exactly how things are meant to be. And at such moments, God graces me with the very sincere realization that this is His work, not mine. I may occasionally receive thanks from those who benefit from my ministry, but it is in those moments that I am even more keenly aware of how little I have actually done! I look at all the volunteers who surround me to help make things happen - many of whom have been working on these programs since before I even started working here - and realize what a small part I play, despite my official title of "Director." Above all, I look at Jesus, and how He is working in the lives of those who have responded to His call to participate in these programs, and I find myself so grateful that He allows me to share in His work of salvation, by doing what small part I can to bring others closer to His Sacred Heart!

And isn't this the essence of natural motherhood (or fatherhood, for that matter)? Parents know well that there is only so much they can do to raise their children to be faithful followers of Christ, and good citizens in this world (but not of the world, of course). Like my volunteers, there are many other people in their children's lives who contribute to their formation - teachers, coaches, other family members, friends, mentors, role models, hopefully spiritual leaders, such a priests, nuns, religious educators...Yet in the Christian family, the goal is the same - to raise children to love the Lord God, and serve Him as true disciples. I think, perhaps, that my job as a spiritual mother is easier, because the volunteers that I have are all working towards the same goal. In a sense, it is like having a whole group of spiritual mothers and fathers working for the salvation and sanctification of the same group of spiritual children. Certainly, our spiritual children face the same obstacles to their faith when they are out in the world, but at least in my ministry (which deals mainly with adults), they have already made at least a small decision in favor of God.

In any case, I feel that God revealed a bit more of the pure scope of spiritual motherhood to me today. I realized how absolutely essential prayer is in spiritual motherhood (or fatherhood), not only in praying for those we know personally and to whom we are personally ministering (i.e. those going through the RCIA, which I lead), but also those to whom our only ministry may indeed be prayer!

I reflected on how much good God is doing in this parish, and how many lives He is touching and changing through the programs that have started up this year, and how I sincerely desire that for my home archdiocese of San Francisco, where the Church is suffering from liberalism and relativism. I see God doing such good works here, and really renewing the parish (and many places in Michigan, really, for it seems that there are many ministries and parishes flourishing), and I want that for the Church in San Francisco, but really everywhere! And I understand more deeply now the contemplative life, and how I have heard some cloistered nuns describe their desire for the cloister as a desire to reach more people, despite how backwards this may initially seem to us. For it is only through prayer that we can reach boundlessly. I can minister in this parish, and perhaps reach 60 people at a time, maybe 300 people at a time. But through my prayers, I can reach an infinite number of souls.

And this brings me back to the importance of humility and realizing how little work I actually do, and how the work of conversion is God's work, not mine. Even if I work tirelessly on these programs, but I do not pray for the people participating in them, and do not continually surrender them to God, then I could very well see little to no fruit come of them. So, really, prayer is the essence of spiritual motherhood, and I would say of physical motherhood as well, for I have heard so many women speak of their grown children, and how few of them practice their faith now. Of course there could be many reasons for this, but I look to the example of St. Monica, who is really one of the greatest patrons of mothers, both physical and spiritual, for it was through her ceaseless prayers and tears that her son not only came to God, had a conversion, and was baptized, but became a bishop and one of the greatest Saints and doctors of the Church! (I speak, of course, of St. Augustine of Hippo)



And so, I will end with a prayer for mothers, both physical and spiritual.

Dear Lord, we praise you and thank you for the great gift of motherhood (and fatherhood), and we ask for the intercession of St. Monica, to help us to pray ceaselessly, as she did, for our children to come to know and love you, and serve you faithfully until one day you welcome them home to live in eternal loving relationship with you in heaven.
Mary, Virgin of virgins and Mother of mothers, pray for all parents, natural and spiritual, and bring us ever closer to your Son, that in imitation of you, we may bring our children into the loving arms of Christ, Our Savior.
St. Joseph, patron of fathers and families, pray for us and teach us to be strong in our faith that we may lead our children to holiness.
We ask this all through Christ Our Lord, Amen.